Fugdale’s Funhouse

Review: Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Today the Fun House serves up a delectable Turkey treat. In this game you play as a gobbling turkey who’s been stripped of all his feathers. He fights for his life so he doesn’t end up as the main entree. Move your turkey around the checkerboard table and collect as many feathers as possible. Each round you have to collect an increasingly larger number of feathers within the minute time limit. Simply move your turkey over the feathers to collect them. Try to catch the corn power ups that fall. These power ups include: a turkey grower; a time slower; a magnetic feather catcher; a feather bomb; and a turkey speed increaser. You must avoid the pesky dinner fork which floats around the screen. Get too close and it will stab your turkey and hold it inactive for about 5 seconds.

This game has a lot of cute charm and makes a nice distraction for when the Tryptophan sets in. Of course, PETA will be on your ass for all the animal violence, but heck, you’re trying to save the turkey’s life, not kill it. Although the game includes cute graphics and gobbly sound effects, it won’t amaze you with it’s inventiveness. It doesn’t rank super high on the ‘collect and avoid game’ scale, but it definitely fits the theme of the day today and will provide a few laughs and a challenge that the whole family can enjoy. Wait, did I just say ‘ass’ in front of the whole family?

Review: Driving, ugh. Who needs it? And finding parking? Are you kidding? At least in this little game of skill, you get a parking space provided for you. You must simply park your Landmark SUV in the designated parking space within 60 seconds. The game tells you which way to park (front end first, or back into the space, etc). You use the arrow keys to steer and drive the car and the spacebar to brake suddenly.

If you hit another car, you have to start all the way over from level one, so don’t hit a car. You need a pretty steady hand and a bit of patience to land your car in the right place, and the timer ads pressure to the task. I aced the front parking task, the reverse got a little tougher. I haven’t figured out how many levels the game provides you with. But, because of the very sensitive hit sensors on the other cars, it might be a while before I find out.

If you enjoy this parking game, take a look at my previous post for a more humorous take on the same idea:

Who Parks Better, Men or Women?

Review: Do you have a famous person out there whose face you’d like to see with a bulls-eye painted on it? I know nearly everyone has fantasized about throwing darts at someone’s face. Now you have the chance. Although to score well in this game of target practice, you really should avoid hitting the famous celebrity. Just like in a knife thrower’s act, you play as one of two knife throwers and you send your daggers hurling through the air towards a rotating wheel. Of course, your assistant, a celebrity of your choice, lies strapped to the rotating wheel presenting you with something to avoid (or not) as you throw.

Spattered around your celebrity, you will see 20 tiny red numbered targets. You get 20 knives and to score perfectly you must hit each of the targets preferably in order. This task seems next to impossible as the wheel rotates pretty quickly, but you will have fun trying and missing, because if you miss, you may “accidentally” hit the celebrity and they will scream in pain (or just die).

The fun of this game really lies in the vicarious torture of various public figures. You have several to choose from including George W Bush and Condoleeza Rice. But, for all your Republicans out there, you can also go for movie celebrities like Brad Pitt and Kirsten Dunst. Everyone seems to want to throw Britney Spears under the bus these days. Why not just thrown daggers at her instead?

As an added touch, before you play, you can choose whether you want to add more blood to the gore effects, so this game will appeal to all the sadists out there as well.